Let me first explain a little about the “aquanet” moment. You see, a friend of mine in grad school had constructed a potato cannon out of PVC piping and an electric ignition from a gas barbecue. It was really a marvel. A big white tube capable of firing a potato over 100 feet. Put that together with a keg of beer and you end up with good times. When I asked him what worked the best as a propellant for the tuber projectile, he said, “Aquanet– it’s nice & flammable.” So, an Aquanet moment, IMHO, is a moment when someone on the blogosphere takes the time to set their hair on fire and show us just how looney-tunes they really are.
I’ve got two. In reality, one was a couple of days ago. But I’ll start with today’s– frequent target of my blog, Russel Shaw over at PuffingTons Host.
Russel has decided to “re-examine” some conspiracy theories. By “re-examine”, we mean buy into with all the reasoning of an unhinged, paranoid recluse.
Here are some of the “theories” he’s decided to examine:
Has The U.S. Government Been Opening Census Records? Is The Price of Oil Being Manipulated To Remove High Prices as a Campaign Issue? Does Fidel Castro Have Terminal Cancer? Have UFO Reports Been Suppressed By Conservative Christians In The Military and Government? Is “Stolen Election” Talk Being Used As a Voter Mobilization Tactic? Was The November, 2001 Downing Of American Flight 587 Really a Terrorist Attack?
Now, the only theory I’ll actually buy into is his musing about Castro. Castro’s old, and he’s been wearing a lot of pajamas lately, so having some kind of cancer isn’t that far out of the norm. However, following it up with “UFO Suppression” is moonbattery of an apolitical nature.
I will give ol’ Russ a break. He put this qualifier at the beginning of his blog entry:
By training and occupation, I’m one for hard evidence rather than automatic conspiracy-theory buy-in. Just because something can happen doesn’t mean it will, has, or is. And as has often been said, correlation does not imply causation.
That said, there are six conspiracy theories and related matters that I do wonder about from time to time.
Stuff that despite lack of confirmation, I am unable to totally dismiss. I’d like to share these with you now, and invite your comments.
Hear that? The *hisssss* *woosh* of hair being lit on fire? I thought so.
And speaking of conspiracy theories, what’s up with Gary Hart-er- Former Presidential Candidate Gary Hart:
It should come as no surprise if the Bush Administration undertakes a preemptive war against Iran sometime before the November election.
Were these more normal times, this would be a stunning possibility, quickly dismissed by thoughtful people as dangerous, unprovoked, and out of keeping with our national character. But we do not live in normal times.
As Higgins would say– OH. MY. GOD. Magnum. And then Magnum says, “Higgins!” Yes, Gary Hart is actually suggesting that the October Surprise is a Suprise Invasion of Iran! But an invasion just to win some midterm elections! It’s like he’s Michael Jackson during a Pepsi Commercial! Hair, meet fire! WOOOOSSSHHH!
You can read the rest of his rant on the PuffingTons Host. I’ll tell you what– that stuff would really make a good novel. In the Fiction section.