Chewbacca Molests Marilyn Monroe

And you think I was making this up?

On Sunday, a Marilyn Monroe lookalike called the cops on a Chewbacca character, reports and Elmo say.

Officers took a battery complaint from a Monroe impersonator Sunday at the Hollywood & Highland Center, the outdoor Hollywood mall that serves as home base for the Oscars, Los Angeles Police Officer April Harding said Monday.

The woman, whose name police declined to reveal, alleged someone touched her on her right shoulder “without her permission,” Harding said.

Elmo thinks Marilyn is full of s***. Hehehehe. What do you think Mr. Noodle?

He said he believed the Monroe became incensed at the Chewbacca after some tourists told her she was the worst Marilyn Monroe they’d ever seen.

“She went and accused Chewbacca of sending those people over there to say that,” Harper said.

If you’ve seen these impersonators, some are good. And some are, well, people dressed up as Marilyn Monroe. Seriously, can we stop people from dressing up as Marilyn? Wherever you go, there’s a Marilyn Monroe impersonator. At least Elvis Imp’s can sing. There was one at a 4th of July parade who sang with a broken ukelale. That was awesome. But how many times do we have to hear “Happy Birthday, Mister President?” For crying out loud, it’s the freakin’ Birthday Song! And it’s sang all “sexy”. That’s not sexy. That’s someone doped out of their minds fantasizing about JFK.

But I think Elmo might be wrong here.

The Hollywood Boulevard characters were in the news in February when one of their members�a Chewbacca, again�was arrested for allegedly head-butting a tour guide. Harding said it was not known if Sunday’s incident and last winter’s featured any of the same players; according to Harper, it was the same Chewbacca.

And, according to Harper, it was the same bum rap.

If Chewie was really angry, as we all know, he would have just pulled his arms out of his sockets. Not a headbutt.


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My name is Doc. Welcome to my blog. If you're visiting from another blog, add me to your blogroll (and I'll happily reciprocate). I have a Ph.D. in Chemistry and live in Wisconsin. If you have any questions, feel free to email me. My email is docattheautopsy at gmail. (No linking to deflate the incredible spam monsters).



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