16
May
08

Global Warming Hysteria Targets Fat People

Scientists in the UK are now saying obesity is accelerating global warming. What an impact it makes is still totally ambiguous, but if the root problem is CO2 emissions, then fat people would emit more just as it takes more energy to move them around.

It’s a no brainer, really. Sure, the obese are going to contribute more to AGW, if AGW is real. But peel away the veneer and what do you find?

Don’t forget– children are bad in the eyes of the AGW zealot. Have less kids, save the world, right? China’s got that down to a tee. Kill extra kids, less resources needed, and less emissions.

Now the fat are bad. The fat are destroying the planet. They eat more, which means they need more cows for their fast food burgers, which is more styofoam waste, which means— Gah! Hamburglars everywhere!

The key here is that the AGW zealots are using AGW to force people to change– forget about freedom, this is about saving the planet! (Of course, Global Warming has taken a hiatus, but that’s beyond the point.) Let’s make a list of what people need to do to save the world from the evils of AGW:

  1. Stop driving CO2 producing vehicles. (That means almost all vehicles– cars, airplanes, trucks, trains, even that moped.)
  2. Stop using coal for power. (Generates CO2) And oil or methane/ethane/propane/butane for that matter.
  3. Stop consuming. The more we buy, the more we need industry, which means the more we harm the planet.
  4. Stop eating meat. Meat comes from farm animals, which means that’s that many more animals stressing the biosphere and putting dangerous methane and CO2 into the atmosphere. Start eating pure vegetarian diets and stop the slaughter of animals for food. (Meat is murder, and you’re murdering 6.2 billion people, you selfish bacon-loving bastard!)
  5. Stop having kids. The more people there are, the more stress there is on the biosphere and the greater demand for resources, such as food and energy, two of the biggest contributors to global warming. Therefore, don’t have kids. If you do have kids, abort!
  6. Stop using electricity. We can’t use fossil fuels for energy because they’re obviously bad. We can’t use hydroelectric because that requires a dam and that hurts the environment. Solar and wind are your only alternatives, and that means a ten-fold increase in electricity costs due to unreliability of the resource. Nuclear power produces really bad waste, so that can’t be an alternative.
  7. Don’t use any motors, even electric ones! The more power you tap to power your motorized devices, the more CO2 has to be released. So all that Led Zepplin you’ve been listening to? Destroying the earth. Selfish 70’s dropout!
  8. Stop building. Wood & stone need fuel to transport their materials. That’s a no-no! Also, cutting down old-growth forests requires fuel and it prevents those trees from reaching out and absorbing our CO2.  So, get out the yurt and live simply.

So there’s the natural progression of the AGW zealot’s argument. Become an off-the-grid vegetarian or the world is going to die. Which are you going to choose, you selfish tool? I wish I was being funny, but the environmentalists of this movement have always been after these goals, and finally they have a movement which is convincing the gullible to shed their meat-eatin’, car-drivin’, ways.

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5 Responses to “Global Warming Hysteria Targets Fat People”


  1. 1 William
    May 17, 2008 at 10:59 am

    Obese and overweight people require more fuel to transport them and the food they eat, and the problem will worsen as the population literally swells in size, a team at the London School of Hygiene & Tropical Medicine says.

    Also, fat people sweat more, tend to use more electricity for a/c

    Yes, eating land animals is not good for you or the environment.

    Thanks

  2. August 4, 2008 at 1:36 am

    Shouldn’t you be out hugging a tree? Using the computer which, btw, contains harmful byproducts and cannot be easily disposed of, to access the internet(wires and satellites all over the place) doesn’t seem to mesh with your views. You have just used power to get online with your provider, who is using power to get you there, so you could come here and bash the other halfs views.

    You people are magnificent in your hypocrisy. I want to find a country, that isn’t full of you louts, and move myself and my family there.

    Good Day,

    Fatass Dave

  3. 3 Zeb
    August 25, 2008 at 12:21 pm

    Why don’t you move to North Korea, Fatass? I hear they solved the obesity problem.


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My name is Doc. Welcome to my blog. If you're visiting from another blog, add me to your blogroll (and I'll happily reciprocate). I have a Ph.D. in Chemistry and live in Wisconsin. If you have any questions, feel free to email me. My email is docattheautopsy at gmail. (No linking to deflate the incredible spam monsters).

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