Liveblogging the Crapfest in Denver

Dick Durbin has just started speaking. He keeps saying our troops are Nazis. Oh, sorry.

A comparison of Obama to Lincoln. Unity and change. How is being uber-liberal bringing a message of “unity”?

So, just how many powerful old white men have given speeches at this convention?

Barack Obama had the wisdom to not risk our troops in the wrong war? Oh, that’s right, he opposed the surge.

Risk our freedoms to the overreaching hands of government? So, stop eating foods with trans-fats, stop smoking, and eat organic healthy foods. That’s not overreaching!

Oh brother. “Yes we can!”

Worst. Intro. Speech. Ever. Thanks Dick.


“We can make what we want of our lives.” And if you’re successful, we’ll tax the crap out of you! Hey, thanks, Barack!

“His childhood was like any other.” Yeah, my friends and I travelled all over the world, Kenya, etc. Being born & raised in Hawaii to an interracial family. Just like any other!

He’s just like you and me! Oh, except for being a Harvard elitist lawyer. But he’s just like the rest of us!

Cute wedding pic.

Tax cuts for people who work. Oh, but they don’t pay taxes anyway… He believes in the fact that you can buy votes.

Everybody’s falling asleep with this slow video.

Not the lobbyists? Like all those DNC donors that had hotel security manhandle an ABC reporter? Niiice.

He’s here! I just wet myself!

It’s BARACK OBAMA! Standing in front of the acropolis. Tears are streaming from my face from this incredibly hot habenero pepper I just fired down.

I do believe my lympathic system is on fire! Egads!

He just needs to stop saying “thank you” and say, “Shut the hell up, peons!”

To Chairman Dean, Dick Durbin, and Joe Biden– you’re the best white men I know and thanks for letting me accept this nomination! (What, no thanks to Hillary?)

Ah, there’s the thanks to Hillary. Very good. Keep those delegates happy, Baracka!

To Ted Kennedy, who didn’t drive here, and we’re all thankful for that. And, “Vice President” of the US, Joe Biden (he got that right).

Is that a flag pin?

The American promise has been threatened?

More of you are poor. And George W. Bush is to blame! (He made you buy that Cadillac Escalade!)

Sits on its hands while New Orleans drowns? I don’t know any singular disaster that garnered more attention, aid and volunteerism than the Katrina disaster.

McCain = 4 more years of Bush! “Eight is Enough!” I just want Dick Van Patten to come out and kick his butt. “Lay off my legacy, Obama!”

He’s equating McCain to Bush. A good tactic, but the attacks are weak. And Phil Graham talks about a “mental recession”. Um, GDP growth of 3.3%? Did nobody get this guy a newspaper today?

He’s talking about autoworkers (aka. union employees) who are having their jobs outsourced. Bear in mind that union unwillingness to budge on key issues has forced companies out of the US.

And now he says McCain is giving tax breaks for the rich. Of course, those 100 million pay nothing in tax, so you can’t give them a tax break. Logical conundrum, but it doesn’t make for riveting speaking.

As for an Agent of Change, he’s not doing so well. No tax breaks for the rich, redistribute money to the poor, hurt Big Oil and bad Big Business. We heard this all 4 years ago.

Talking about education. I don’t think McCain is planning on taking these things away.

“I don’t know what kind of lives John McCain thinks celebrities live” says the man speaking in front of 75,000 people in front of a facade of Greek pillars.

I’m not hearing much as far as a platform, but more platitudes.

Oh here we go. What change means!

Tax code– stop giving tax breaks to companies that ship jobs overseas. “Listen now”. I will cut taxes for 95% of all working families. What? Who’s not working? The Kerry’s?

In 10 years we’ll stop using oil from the middle east?! Specifics please, Senator. “McCain’s been in Washington for 26 years!” (Biden’s been there for 30+). Natural gas, coal, nuclear? (Psst, natural gas and coal are CO2 emitters!) Solar, wind power! 5 million new jobs! All created by government by taxing! So far, all I hear is more efficient cars and biofuels. That’s not going to work, not in 10 years, Senator. But hey, so long as you’re talking about getting new teachers, how about kids getting to college prepared in mathematics?

Uh oh. Single. Payer. Healthcare. Protect social security! Equal pay for equal work!

Many of these plans will cost money. Tax industry more.

Wait, he’s going to reduce bureaucracy? Really? Well, he can’t be any worse than the Republican Congress.

Foreign Policy time. Temperment & judgement? More like experience and knowledge of world affairs. Obama’s ready to have it, so long as Biden’s giving signals from the side.

“I opposed the Iraq war” from my job in the Illinois Senate. Way to go, dude.

Did Obama just say we’ll invade Pakistan?

You deter Iran by putting the US between Iran and Israel.

So, Georgia wouldn’t have been invaded had we been nicer and happier to Russia?! Obama needs to read my blog.

Oooooh. Tough, direct diplomacy! ‘No more flat screen TV’s Putin!’

And Chris Matthews wept openly.

And so did his leg.

(Psst, gang members don’t buy their AK-47’s at gun shops.)

Stale tactics to scare voters? John McCain is George Bush! Boo, hiss, said the crowd…

Don’t fit the typical pedigree? A rich lawyer from Harvard who’s been in politics since college?

He’s deflecting the Celebrity image. I’m awfully confused as to what he’s offering. Change goes to Washington, he says. Change is embodied by Joe Biden and Dick Durbin, and John Kerry and Bill & Hillary Clinton, and Nancy “Drill your brains” Pelosi. They have nothing to do with a broken government.

And now he’s invoking MLK Jr. with a good introduction. We cannot be divided by race. (Then why are people accusing McCain of being racist?)

It’s OVER (Just like Teen Girl Squad!)

The last bit of his speech was the best, and very dynamic, but it was only the best when he was delivering inspiration and not specifics. He talks a bunch about Change, but I can’t help notice he keeps saying the same things that Kerry, Gore, Clinton, Dukakis, Mondale, Carter– they’ve all be using the same tired rhetoric. Blah.

Well, here ya go:

UPDATE: Matthews is weeping, literally, on MSNBC as he repeats parts of the speech to a crowd outside of the MSNBC DNC policy booth. I mean, their news desk.


1 Response to “Liveblogging the Crapfest in Denver”

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My name is Doc. Welcome to my blog. If you're visiting from another blog, add me to your blogroll (and I'll happily reciprocate). I have a Ph.D. in Chemistry and live in Wisconsin. If you have any questions, feel free to email me. My email is docattheautopsy at gmail. (No linking to deflate the incredible spam monsters).



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