My Obama Halloween

So, last night, I took my kids trick or treating.  We did a nice 6-block circuit and came back with 2 bags about half-full of various candies.  My kids were so happy!

Happy, that is, until we got home.  At that point, I took their bags of candy away from them and spread it out on the table.  I took 50% of their candy and put it in a separate bag, then we all got in the car.  I drove around the neighborhood to other kid’s houses and started handing out their candy to other kids.   There were some kids that only trick or treated for 2 blocks, and we made sure to give them some.  I made sure to give extra candy to those kids who didn’t go trick or treating.  I had redistributed about half of that bag, then took the other half to Obama campaign headquarters and dropped it off, saying they should use the candy for any other well-meaning program.

When we got home, the girls were pretty upset.  The candy was still out on the table, and at that point I took 10% of the remaining piles and stuck them in a high, hard to reach place.  I told them I was going to put this candy away for them to save.  There were 100 pieces of candy, and I said I would put 3 new pieces of candy in that stash a year (plus whatever they get at the next Halloween) for every hundred pieces of candy they had.  Then I would look through the candy and throw out 2 pieces I thought were past expiration date.

“Can’t I have some of that candy now?” said one of my girls.  “No,” I replied.  “How else will you have any candy when you’re in your fifties?”

Finally, they looked at the small piles of candy left on the table, and I said, “Enjoy what’s left.”

The girls were upset.  The oldest said, “But it wasn’t fair to give all the candy I earned to kids who didn’t even go trick or treating!  And I want my candy now!”

“Now now,” I said, “you’re just being selfish.  I was just spreading the wealth around to make sure everyone gets some candy, even if they didn’t do anything to earn some candy.”

‘Well I’m not going out next year!” she cried and ran to her room.

“Now you’ve got the idea!” I shouted.  “I’ll make sure someone who goes out drops off some candy for you!”

Note: No children were deprived candy, really.  It’s an allegory.

2 Responses to “My Obama Halloween”

  1. 1 Sophia
    November 1, 2008 at 3:24 pm

    That is the stupidest analogy I have ever read. Since the average uneducated American is afraid of “spreading” the wealth, how about stopping Social Security, Medicaid, HUD, Welfare just to name a few? All those are socialist programs. How about stopping all programs that help the poor children, the handicapped and our veterans? Why shouldn’t people that make $250,000 a year pay more taxes? Why should they get a tax break, while the middle-class is struggling, almost disappearing really. Its funny the people bitching about “spreading the wealth” don’t have any wealth to spread!

    [Doc — Speaking of stupid– social security was addressed in the post. And people that make $250,000 a year do pay more in taxes than someone making 50,000 a year. The only time they wouldn’t is in an upside-down system where the poor pays a majority of tax. BTW, ask the local small business owner how they’d like to pay an extra $12,500 in taxes a year because they’re richer than someone making $200,000 a year. And watch your vaunted leaders there, sophia. Bill Richardson just said that those making under 120K a year would get a tax break– so much for those making $250000. Nice to see them quietly revising Obama’s own numbers after the debates.]

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My name is Doc. Welcome to my blog. If you're visiting from another blog, add me to your blogroll (and I'll happily reciprocate). I have a Ph.D. in Chemistry and live in Wisconsin. If you have any questions, feel free to email me. My email is docattheautopsy at gmail. (No linking to deflate the incredible spam monsters).



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